Author Topic: Alexander vs Persia: Proofreaders needed!  (Read 10338 times)

Hannibal

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Re: Alexander vs Persia: Proofreaders needed!
« Reply #15 on: April 15, 2014, 05:22:23 PM »
Most current versions of the proofs are up (see the first post for the link).  Here's my list of things that need to be fixed.  I have a couple of "poll the audience" comments about whether flavor text should be removed.  Please speak up on those.

Page 1:
Agrianian Peltasts – rear:
--Poll the Audience:  Remove the flavor text and make the font larger?

Allied Greek Cavalry – rear:
--Move  “Range attack uses the Javelin rule.” so that it is above the “equipment” line.

Page 8:
Parmenion’s Influence Command Card
--Change the name of the card to “Parmenion”

Page 9:
Combat Modifiers Reminder Card
--Remove the following modifier:
  Engaged Target: [Sword icon](-0)-1/-0
 
Page 12:
Immortals – rear:
--Replace the flavor text with:  “[W]hen any one of them was forced to fall out of the number by death or sickness, another was chosen so that they were never more or fewer than ten thousand.” - Herodotus
--Make the remaining font a larger text.

Indian Elephant – rear:
--Remove the flavor text starting with “The Battle of Gaugamela…”
--Make the remaining text a larger font.

Persian Cavalry – rear:
--Change the [shield icon] to a [sword icon] for “+1/+0 when Charging.”

Royal Guard – rear:
--Poll the Audience:  Remove the flavor text and make the font larger?

Page 13:
Scythed Chariots – rear:
--Poll the Audience:  Remove the flavor text and make the font larger?

Page 19:
Quick Start Persian Armies card
--Change the first line from “11 Persian Cavalry” to “1 Persian Cavalry”

leemie

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Re: Alexander vs Persia: Proofreaders needed!
« Reply #16 on: April 20, 2014, 02:06:40 PM »


Page 1:
Agrianian Peltasts – rear:
--Poll the Audience:  Remove the flavor text and make the font larger?

Royal Guard – rear:
--Poll the Audience:  Remove the flavor text and make the font larger?

Page 13:
Scythed Chariots – rear:
--Poll the Audience:  Remove the flavor text and make the font larger?

Would it be possible to have 1/2 of each unit have the flavor text and 1/2 without? Maybe that's a bad idea, but I think flavor text adds a lot to the game. I for instance know nothing about these two armies historically but just by reading the text I feel like I can form some idea of how they where historically. At the same time I think a lot of gamers don't like having to squint.

I suppose you could put the flavor text in the rulebook.

Hannibal

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Re: Alexander vs Persia: Proofreaders needed!
« Reply #17 on: April 20, 2014, 02:36:03 PM »
Page 1:
Agrianian Peltasts – rear:
--Poll the Audience:  Remove the flavor text and make the font larger?

Royal Guard – rear:
--Poll the Audience:  Remove the flavor text and make the font larger?

Page 13:
Scythed Chariots – rear:
--Poll the Audience:  Remove the flavor text and make the font larger?

Funny, I made a suggestion to Kaile about those exact same issues.  She made the font on the Agrianians larger without removing anything, but I think we could easily lose the text off the Royal Guard and the Scythed Archers.  Unlike other things (like explaining why Greek Mercs are Core in a Persia army), the flavor text doesn't really add much to the Royal Guard or the Scythed Chariots.

gull2112

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Re: Alexander vs Persia: Proofreaders needed!
« Reply #18 on: April 20, 2014, 09:30:18 PM »
Some of us are old and the rest of us are heading that direction. Always opt for the larger fonts!
"Rules are only as good as the book they're bound in."
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Torrg

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Re: Alexander vs Persia: Proofreaders needed!
« Reply #19 on: April 21, 2014, 09:12:23 AM »
I am with Gull.
Larger fonts, add the flavor text to the rule/scenario book if possible.
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Hannibal

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Re: Alexander vs Persia: Proofreaders needed!
« Reply #20 on: June 24, 2014, 12:59:56 PM »
Hey folks!  With the kickstarter done, it's time to buckle down and review the Alexander & Persia files before they go to print.  The current proofs and excel file of units & command cards are on the first page.

My hatred of typos makes the religious angst of the 30 Year's War look like a 'minor kerfuffle.'  Please help make sure we have none.  Here's my list of what I spotted with review #5:

Page 1:
Agrianian Peltasts – rear:
--Remove paragraph starting with “May Erase Inspiration box…”
--Replace with:  “May erase Inspiration box during the Movement and Command phase to Final Rush the front of an enemy non-skirmisher unit without being part of a pinch.”

Cretan Archers – rear:
--Change “Range attack is LOS” to “Range attack is Line of Sight.”

Page 4:
Agrianian Peltasts – Front:
--There’s no space between 2nd and 3rd Green Box.  They’re crammed together.

Page 5:
Foot Companions – Front
--The offensive stats currently read:  [sword icon](8*)5/*5*.  Please move the asterisk to the other side of the slash so it reads:  [sword icon](8*)5*/5*.

Iphicratean Spearmen – Front
--The offensive stats currently read:  [sword icon](4)5/*5*.  Please move the asterisk to the other side of the slash so it reads:  [sword icon](4)5*/5*.

Page 8:
Alexander command card:
--capitalize “Skirmisher” in “Play on a non-skirmisher unit…”

Page 9:
Quick Start Armies:
--For the first Quick Start Army, replace the “1 Thessalian Cavalry” with “1 Companion Cavalry.”

Page 12:
Persian Cavalry – rear:
--Change the [sword icon] to a [shield icon] for “+1/+0 when Charging.”

Royal Guard – rear:
--Change [sword icon] to a [shield icon] for “+1/+0 vs ranged attacks.”
--In the flavor text:  change “comitted” to committed.

Page 13:
Saka Horse Archers – rear:
--Bold “Move and” part of:  No penalty for Move and Shoot.

Page 18:
Gaze of the King command card:
-- Replace text with:  Play during an attack, before you roll to hit.  That unit gains [sword icon](+1) +0/+1 this attack. If the unit fails to do any damage before damage prevention, it does one damage.  If the unit has its King's Favor box marked, it gains an additional [sword icon](+1) +0/+0.

Pile It On command card
--Replace text with:  Play during an attack, after you roll to hit.  Your opponent cannot play Command Cards on the attack (Command Cards already played are unaffected).  If you do one or more damage before damage prevention, do one additional damage.

Page 19:
King’s Favor Ability:
--Replace text with:  Before deployment you may mark the King's Favor box on your units, forfeiting for the entire game 1 Command Action per unit marked.  While the King's Favor box is marked the unit gets [sword icon](+1) +1/+0 and an additional [sword icon](+0)+0/+1 if engaged.  If the unit fails a Courage Check, you may erase the King's Favor mark to automatically pass the Courage Check.
« Last Edit: June 24, 2014, 01:01:27 PM by Hannibal »

Torrg

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Re: Alexander vs Persia: Proofreaders needed!
« Reply #21 on: June 28, 2014, 12:04:14 AM »
I have a question about the Foot Companions.
It states "To play a Red Command Card on this unit, you must first discard a Command Card." The only exception is if you erase the Inspiration box to gain the (+2) dice.

What happens if you attach the Alexander Command Card in the unit? You must discard a Command Card to use the Alexander ability? There are situations where Alexander would be useful when attached to the Foot Companions and I don't believe this would be viable if the penalty is applied.

Thanks
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Hannibal

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Re: Alexander vs Persia: Proofreaders needed!
« Reply #22 on: June 28, 2014, 01:24:36 AM »
I have a question about the Foot Companions.
It states "To play a Red Command Card on this unit, you must first discard a Command Card." The only exception is if you erase the Inspiration box to gain the (+2) dice.

What happens if you attach the Alexander Command Card in the unit? You must discard a Command Card to use the Alexander ability? There are situations where Alexander would be useful when attached to the Foot Companions and I don't believe this would be viable if the penalty is applied.

Alexander is a Red command card, just like Strike or Might.  So to play Alexander you'd have to discard a Red card. 

Heroes simply let's you replay that command card on the unit.  In this case, every time you replayed the Alexander command card on the Foot Companions you'd have to discard a command card.

Torrg

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Re: Alexander vs Persia: Proofreaders needed!
« Reply #23 on: July 01, 2014, 07:01:56 PM »
If you compare the number of figures on the Thanvabara & Merc Cretan Archers units to the other skirmisher it appears they have too many and do not have the same appearance as the Baleric Slingers and Cretan Archers from Rome & Carthage.
This makes them look like a regular formed unit and not a skirmisher and I believe could lead to tactical errors during games.

Thanks
An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life.
Robert A. Heinlein

Hannibal

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Re: Alexander vs Persia: Proofreaders needed!
« Reply #24 on: July 01, 2014, 07:12:09 PM »
If you compare the number of figures on the Thanvabara & Merc Cretan Archers units to the other skirmisher it appears they have too many and do not have the same appearance as the Baleric Slingers and Cretan Archers from Rome & Carthage.

Actually, the Thanvabara, Moorish Archers, (Roman) Cretan Archers, and (Alexander) Cretan Archers all have the same number of guys on the card: 18.  Yes this is more than the Balearic Slingers, but those guys also have a 5" move vs the 3.5" move of all the above archers.  I actually sat down with the Punic War Cretan Archers & Moorish Archers and counted how many figures were on the card so as to use as a template.

But even if that weren't the case, that particular alea has long since been iacte'd.  If we wanted to make any changes we'd have to redo the entire set of artwork (and pay the money). 

Torrg

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Re: Alexander vs Persia: Proofreaders needed!
« Reply #25 on: July 08, 2014, 02:28:24 PM »
Please note below that the keywords are not Capitalized and/or Bolded.

Page 1
Agema
(+0) +1/+0 vs. Cavalry and/or Large units.
(+0) +0/+2 when Holding vs. Charging Cavalry and/or Charging Large units.
+1/+0 vs. Ranged attacks.

Agrianian Peltasts
Ranged attack uses the Javelin rule.
+2/+0 vs. Ranged attacks.

Allied Greek Cavalry
Ranged  attack uses the Javelin rule.

Cretan Archers
Ranged  attack is Line of Sight
+2/+0 vs. Ranged attacks.
(-0) -1/-2 when Engaged.

Page 2
Iphicratean Spearmen
(+0) +1/+0 vs. Cavalry and/or Large units.
(+0) +0/+2 when Holding vs. Charging Cavalry and/or Charging Large units.
+1/+0 vs. Ranged attacks.

Thessalian Cavalry
Ranged attack uses the Javelin rule.

Thracian Peltasts
+2/+0 vs. Ranged attacks.
Ranged attack uses the Javelin rule.

Page 3
Does not apply when erasing Inspiration box to gain A(+2) +0/+0
Bold key word “Inspiration” & put a space after the closing parenthesis before the +0

Page 9
Combat Modifiers
Please add a space after the closing parentheses.
Charging: (0-3 base Dice): (+1) +0/+0
Disrupted: (-1) –1/-1

Phalanx Rules
5) (+0) +1/+0 vs. Cavalry and/or Large units.
6) (+0) +0/+2 when Holding vs. Charging Cavalry and/or Charging Large units.


Movement Category Chart
Catagory is misspelled should be Category
Also
(can't move) should this be (cannot move)?

Page 12
Immortals
(+0) +1/+0 vs. Cavalry  and/or Large units.
(+0) +0/+2 when Holding  vs. Charging Cavalry  and/or Charging Large units.
Need to make a new line for the “Ranged attack is Line of Sight” (add “d” in Range)
+1/+0 vs. Ranged attacks.

Indian Elephant
(+0) +0/+1 and 2 Impact Hits (Missing the / and the bold)

Suggestion
Howdah Attacks:# should be bolded and a symbol placed there and on the front of the card to signify the O#(3)5/5 are the Howdah Attacks. I believe this would help new players and people unfamiliar with the Giant War Elephant not be confused as to what this references. Plus this would help identify that the attacks have a special rule and I used the # just to differentiate between normal modifiers for this special purpose.
Just a suggestion.

Kardakes
(+0) +1/+0 vs. Cavalry and/or Large units.
(+0) +0/+2 when Holding vs. Charging Cavalry and/or Charging Large units.

Persian Cavalry
Ranged attack uses the Javelin rule.

Royal Guard
(+0) +1/+0 vs. Cavalry and/or Large units.
(+0) +0/+2 when Holding vs. Charging Cavalry and/or Charging Large units.
+1/+0 vs. Ranged attacks.

Page 13
Saka Horse Archers
Ranged attack is Line of Sight.
No penalty for Move and Shoot

Satrapal Cavalry
Range attack uses the Javelin rule. (unbold “Range”)

Scythed Chariots
+2 Impact Hits (3 total)…

Sparapara
Ranged attack is Line of Sight.
(+0) +1/+0 vs. Cavalry and/or Large units.
(+0) +0/+2 when Holding vs. Charging Cavalry and/or Charging Large units.
+1/+0 vs. Ranged attacks. (unbold “attacks”)


« Last Edit: July 11, 2014, 10:55:39 AM by Torrg »
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Torrg

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Re: Alexander vs Persia: Proofreaders needed!
« Reply #26 on: July 11, 2014, 10:57:55 AM »
Hi Hannibal
I modified the original post after reviewing the Hawk, Orc's, M&M & Rome.

Thanks.
An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life.
Robert A. Heinlein

Hannibal

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Re: Alexander vs Persia: Proofreaders needed!
« Reply #27 on: July 17, 2014, 12:20:15 PM »
Toorg,

Good eye on all of those!  I've incorporated most of them into the corrections document for Kaile.  The one I didn't was bolding "Ranged."  Sometimes it is bolded in other releases and sometimes it isn't.  So I opted to leave it out.  Eventually you get so many Bolded that it ceases to be effective.


Thanks for everything!  Getting the spears wording consistent was a big deal.  Thanks for going through it all!

Kevin

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Re: Alexander vs Persia: Proofreaders needed!
« Reply #28 on: July 17, 2014, 03:21:37 PM »
One thing, and it's pretty petty.  The majority of Battleground armies refer to "range attacks" (unbolded, uncapitalized), while a minority (but still more than one) of armies refers to "ranged attacks"  (Bold & underline added for emphasis.), sometimes capitalized IIRC.

With Wuxing I went with "range attacks" to fit with the majority.  Not a huge deal either way.
However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results. - Winston Churchill

Hannibal

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Re: Alexander vs Persia: Proofreaders needed!
« Reply #29 on: July 17, 2014, 03:40:52 PM »
Yeah I discovered the same thing.  I opted for "ranged attacks" mainly because it sounded weird without the "d".